Joseph Hoffman, Traveling Meth-Lab Scientist, Gets High/Arrested on His Own Supply

The kind of man who walks around with a mini-homemade meth lab in his bag is the kind of man any meth consumer would want to have on their speed dial. Of course, that's assuming this same lab operator isn't feeding a large quotient of his production directly to his own brain. Because at that point he runs the risk of doing something really stupid, like passing out in a cab and getting busted by the cops when the cabbie drags him to the police station.

So step on up, 25-year-old Joseph Hoffman of Vancouver, Wash., you've beaten out the underpaid coke mules we told you about earlier for most inept criminal of the day.

The Chicago Sun-Times reported last night that our mohawked friend was arrested in Chicago over the weekend. Apparently he was getting a cab ride from Lincoln Park to Rogers Park. The cabbie says he talked on his cell for half the trip, then passed the fuck out for the next half.

Worried that Mr. Sleepy wouldn't pay his fare, the cabbie pulled over and tried to rouse him. But despite his efforts, Hoffman wasn't waking up.

That's when the cab driver took him to the police station, where the cops called paramedics. While they tried to revive him, they searched his bag, looking, they said, for identification.

Instead they found his meth lab, which amounted to two liquid-filled containers connected by a power source. They also say they found three pounds of finished meth, a gallon of GHB, blue pills believed to be ecstasy, and a bag of weed.

All told, the cops say he had about $450,000 worth of drugs on him.

The cabbie never did get his fare.

In Hoffman's defense, a dude on the tail end of a big business trip with several hundred thousand dollars worth of methamphetamine has a good chance of having been up for days on end. The nap he took was likely a long time coming.

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