Green Reaper, Penelope, Thorn, Thunder 88, Buster Doe, No Name, Catastrophe, Gemini and Phoenix Jones the Guardian of Seattle. These are the names of the costumed superheros who are now patrolling our city, ensuring your safety... I know. We're excited too.
They wear costumes, they ride around in a Kia at night looking for trouble and occasionally, they get stabbed.
Seattle Police think they're silly at best, dangerous at worst. They cite cases where one darkly clad crusader was nearly shot when he came running out of a park in the middle of the night, or when a woman saw a bunch of costumed freaks pull up to a gas station and thought they were there to rob the place.
"Phoenix Jones the Guardian of Seattle" seems to be the one member that the cops and the media have the most info on--and still, it's not much.
We know he's a 22-year-old man who met with police at the station last month in near full regalia: black cape, blue tights, black fedora, white belt and mask. He'd have brought the rest of his gear, he told them, but it was being repaired after he got stabbed trying to break up a drug buy.
But don't worry. Jones tells the PI that he and his squad are professionals.
"I don't condone people walking around on the street with masks. Everyone on my team either has a military background or a mixed martial arts background, and we're well aware of what its costs to do what we do."
The crew appears to draw a lot of its marching orders from the website reallifesuperheros.org.
Zeta Man here is a frequent poster on the "RLSH" forum
That's right, .org.
Also, another site noted by the police has an actual "manual" for becoming a super hero.
It's packed with info on picking out fly crime fighting "threads" and weapons, assembling a kick-ass utility belt, keeping your "hero health" in tip-top shape and finding pressure points on your enemies that will render them incapacitated.
Nowhere on the site are any tips for finding a girlfriend or holding down a job.
It's not clear how the Rain City Superhero Movement is alerted to crimes. They may have police scanners, they may have inside sources, or simply internet access to the SPD police blog. They don't, at this point, have a skyward pointed spotlight of any kind or a direct line to Mayor McGinn.
But they do have our attention. And it's likely that that's all they wanted in the first place.