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Mariner reliever Garrett Olson is a handsome dude. That we'll grant him. But his career 6.20 earned run average --twice as bad as the game's

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If Garrett Olson Can Get Paid to Endorse a Sport Drink, Anyone Can

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Mariner reliever Garrett Olson is a handsome dude. That we'll grant him. But his career 6.20 earned run average--twice as bad as the game's elite hurlers--understandably got him branded by one overzealous journalist as "the worst pitcher in baseball history." With a track record like that, you'd think Olson would be lucky to hold onto his job. Instead, he's being paid to endorse an energy drink, FRS Health Energy.

"FRS is fueled by quercetin, a powerful antioxidant found in foods like blueberries, red apples and grapes. Quercetin works by naturally triggering the body's ability to produce more real energy," reads the company's website. "A single 11.5-ounce serving of FRS contains a healthy amount of quercetin, but to get the equivalent you'd have to be willing --and able--to eat 40 apples in a sitting. And good luck working out after that."

FRS boasts a roster of celebrity pitchmen from across the sporting spectrum, from cyclist Lance Armstrong to Los Angeles Laker guard Derek Fisher. It's got five pro baseball players signed up, including 2009 National League Rookie of the Year Andrew McCutchen.

Then there's Olson, for whom a proper comparsion can only be found in the HBO sitcom The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret. In this program, David Cross plays an outlandishly stupid sales manager named Todd Margaret, who's been sent to Britain to hawk Thunder Muscle, an energy drink that's been branded as toxic by local regulatory authorities. Margaret has $50,000 to lure a celebrity athlete to endorse Thunder Muscle, and originally fancies soccer star David Beckham. When told by a subordinate that landing Beckham would be completely unrealistic and over-budget, he settles on a champion snooker player named Steve Davis, who may or may not actually be a champion snooker player.

Either way, he's got more cachet than Olson.

 
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