Four Loko Launches Mobile App to Help Drunk Customers Find Taxi to More Four Loko

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Phusion Projects, LLC, the makers of Four Loko and other forbidden caffeinated booze drinks, is suffering from two major problems. First, now that its drinks have been banned by multiple states including Washington over reports that it turns people into walking vomit factories, its products are becoming harder to find. And second, the PR shitstorm that's descended on the company in the wake of the bans has left it desperately trying to improve its image. Well, as Brandchannel reports today: there's an app for that.

It's called "Four Mobile" and it's being billed as a hand-held electronic responsibility promoter. What this amounts to, basically, is a Google search that passes for a "taxi finder," a statement on drunk driving, alcohol abuse and how they're both bad and a nifty "product finder" that points thirsty customers toward their nearest Four Loko outlet.

It's the latter feature that's the meat and potatoes of the app, as the taxi finder and warning are basically just window dressing used so the company can send out press releases like this:

"As one of the few alcoholic beverage companies to host a taxi finder on its smart phone-optimized mobile site, this latest launch is part of a broader campaign to ensure that Phusion's products are consumed safely and responsibly by adults over the age of 21."

So what about that product finder? Just enter in a zip code, hit search and boom: results from around your location, linked to maps, all of which make feeding your Loko habit all the easier (note: as of Monday morning the app seemed to be having trouble completing searches, we'll assume this is being fixed soon).

Anyhow, the app certainly ups the ante on beleaguered companies' ability to simultaneously address public concern about its products and shamelessly ride the wave of infamy that has made it a household name.

We're hoping they'll create a new app soon that not only finds taxis, but also buses that will take Washingtonians directly to Oregon or Idaho where, come Thursday, will be the closest places Loko fans can go to find the demon swill.

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