Oh, hey, did you see whose book landed the #2 spot in the Huffington Posts's "Funniest Underrated Humor Books?" No, you didn't see that? Well,


Today in Sex: The Great American Sex Survey

Oh, hey, did you see whose book landed the #2 spot in the Huffington Posts's "Funniest Underrated Humor Books?" No, you didn't see that? Well, that'd be my book and you might want to run along and read that story (and vote for my book) before you get to this big sex-survey rundown. You can also still order it—How Not to Date makes the perfect Halloween gift. Now, onto our regularly scheduled story. . . .

This week, researchers at Indiana University released the results of a huge sex study they did in conjunction with Trojan condoms. Called The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, they interviewed nearly 6,000 Americans, ranging in age from 14 to 94 and quizzed them on their sex habits.

The good news—it seems sex ed is working because 80 percent of sexually active teenage boys and 69 percent of their female counterparts reported using a condom the last time they had sex. Yay!

Among women in their 30s, 14 percent said they had performed oral sex on another woman at some point in their lives; 13 percent of men over 40 said they had performed oral sex on another man. Yet only 7% identified as "other than heterosexual," which could mean people are getting less rigid about labeling themselves according to who they happen to be sleeping with or could be evidence (I hope not) that more people are being forced into the closet.

The most widely reported—and laughed at—stats from the study say that while approximately 85 percent of men surveyed reported that their partner had an orgasm the last time they had sex, only 64% of the ladies reported hitting the big O. Ouchie. Men, get a clue. Ladies, quit with the faking. You're doing a grave disservice when you convince a guy he's the shit and then send his fumbling ass out into the world to badly fuck the rest of us. Instead, do your fellow woman a solid and show him how it's done.

The only thing I found vaguely surprising is that adult men in their mid/late twenties are more likely to jerk it (84%) than teenagers (62 - 81%). Not a huge gap, but a gap nonetheless. Then again, maybe the older guys are less embarrassed about copping to it. Men in the 25-29 age group (27%) are also more likely to be inserting their penises into anuses and 21% of women in that same cohort are open to backdoor lovin'.

Apparently changing up the repertoire is key to spicing up the sexing because 54 percent of women reported having an orgasm the last time they had sex when they engaged only in one act, but 89 percent of women who performed five sex acts during their last encounter had an orgasm. Also, there are 41 popular sex positions. I'm going to be looking into them later and will report back.

Big ups to Trojan for sponsoring this study because I know first-hand that it's hard to get money from the government to sponsor studies on controversial topics like sex or drugs (or anything else vaguely racy), which is too damned bad because corporate dough usually comes with strings. But then government-funded studies are often filtered through the current administration's view of things (hullo, many questionable Bushie studies), so maybe corporate money is the way to go. Besides, according to the academics involved, the sponsors took a very hands-off approach, aside from giving advice on "how to phrase questions to accurately gauge condom use," which, as you might imagine, they have a lot of expertise doing.

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