Isn't it generally the case that the biggest homophobes are inevitably revealed to be the most ardent same-sex, down-low lovermen? Of course I'm talking about today's big gay outing of Atlanta's Bishop Eddie Longa man the Southern Poverty Law Center dubbed "one of the most virulently homophobic black leaders in the religiously based anti-gay movement."
Bishop Long (porno name alert!) is accused of taking advantage of two young male churchgoers who claim the bishop coerced them into sexual relationships. Like "holy man" Ted Haggard before him, Long is married with children and spent most of his career gay bashing (i.e., trying to beat his yearnings into submission), and in 2004, even led a march against gay marriage.
Long is also the author of the book, What a Man Wants, What a Woman Needs. The answer to both questions, apparently being a nice stiff cock.
Long Dong's outing has inspired me to guess which hypocritical homophobe will be making news next, and color me kooky, but my money's on rapper 50 Cent.
I don't know if someone's been threatening to out him, but 50never known for being the most tolerant individualhas really stepped up the homo-hating lately. Claiming he was "joking," 50 recently Twatted about Lady Gaga's rumored manmeat and then talked about shooting up a gay wedding just for fun.
Note to 50the best jokes are generally funny.
In no particular order, a brief history of 50's musings on the homosexual lifestyle:
• "I'll say 'faggot' all day." (CNN)
• "I ain't into faggots. I don't like gay people around me, because I'm not comfortable with what their thoughts are. I'm not prejudiced. I just don't go with gay people and kick itwe don't have that much in common. I'd rather hang out with a straight dude. But women who like women, that's cool." (Playboy)
• ""There's always been conflict at the center of hip-hop, because it's all about which guy has the competitive edge, and you can't be that aggressive if you're gay. If being straight isn't your preference, well, that's up to you. But there's no successful gay men in hip-hop. I mean, some rappers are fruity, but they don't say they're gay out in the open." (Spin)
Then there are the lyrics, which are a rich territory unto themselves, but one I'm not in the mood to get into. I'm just going to keep "50 Cent comes out" in my Google alert and wait for the inevitable.