Today in Sex: RIP Anal Pleasure Month

Just as Labor Day symbolizes the unofficial end of summer, so does September's arrival signal that Anal Pleasure Month (aka August) has come to a close. Which explains why I used a photo of the beautiful Coco (aka, Mrs. Ice T), the Patron Saint of All Things Bootylicious, to illustrate this piece.

I'm writing this the first week of September because August kind of slipped right by me and I forgot to celebrate. Though one could argue that living with a Greek means every day is Assplay Day. (Oof--rimshot!)


So in order to avoid making the same mistake twice, I scoured the internet to discover what exactly we're celebrating this September. Unfortunately, I found that September isn't as racy as August. Not even as scintillating as May, otherwise known as Masturbation Month. This September, we celebrate:

• International People Skills

Cholesterol Education

• International Square Dance

Mold Awareness

• National Childhood Injury Prevention (as opposed to April, which is Smack Your Kid Around Month)

Head Lice Prevention

and my favorite--

• Be Kind to Editors and Writers Month

Pretty G-Rated, right? I'm writing this during National Waffle Week, which--not coincidentally, coincides with National Suicide Prevention week. So handy because who could consider offing themselves when there are delicious waffles to consume? Sadly, I couldn't even find any days honoring the penis or vaginas, let alone months. Though Japan does have a fun-sounding festival devoted to the wiener.

So let's come up with a theme for September, shall we? Because I'm five and still find fart jokes funny, my vote is for Dutch Oven Month. What's yours?

comments powered by Disqus

Friends to Follow