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This really doesn't seem fair, but according to a story reported in the Times of India this week, most men spend only three hours out

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Today in Sex: A Man's Lifetime Experience of Orgasm? All of Three Hours

rock-star-o-face-4-600x400-600x400.jpg
This really doesn't seem fair, but according to a story reported in the Times of India this week, most men spend only three hours out of their entire lives in the grips of an orgasm. Considering we spend one-third of our lives sleeping and an average of 45 hours a week working, a mere 180 minutes over an entire life?

Each ejaculation contains approximately two teaspoons of spooge and, according to this research, each O lasts a little under three seconds. This sounds not nearly long enough and indeed, Men's Health clocks it in at more like six seconds, which would double our three hours of orgasm to six--still chintzy when we're talking someone's entire life. BTW, not that anyone asked, but women's orgasms last a whopping 23 seconds, though it takes us longer to get where we're going.

For instance, he said if a man had an average orgasm of about 2.5 seconds over 40 years (from age 18 to 58), and had sex twice weekly with his wife, he would enjoy two hours, 53 minutes and 20 seconds of orgasm in his lifetime.

Are there any mathematicians reading? If so, check my numbers, because arithmetic has never been my strong suit: I could be wrong, but that amounts to only 3600 orgasms and 7200 teaspoons (or 150 cups) of jizz. Can we also let these numbers put to rest all the "Rod Stewart/Elton John got their stomachs pumped after swallowing gallons of baby batter" rumors? It would take Wilt Chamberlain's total lifetime output to give either of these dudes even a little tummy trouble.

Far be it from me to contradict the Times of India and the China Press, but these numbers seemed incredibly low, and re-reading the article, I saw why. They're only talking about orgasms with spouses involved! This makes more sense, because most teenage boys I've known can knock off three hours of orgasms a week. What do you think the real number is?

 
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