Colton Harris-Moore's Legal Defense: I Didn't Have Any Fun

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If you think Colton Harris-Moore had fun living in the woods, hot-wiring and destroying just about every form of conveyance imaginable and seeing his name become globally synonymous with Huck Finn-style hijinks -- all while making a bunch of country cops and FBI agents look like asthmatic fat men trying to corner a spring chicken -- then the Barefoot Bandit's lawyer would like you to know that you are very wrong.

Harris-Moore's trial is still months away. And the 19-year-old is facing so many charges in so many jurisdictions it's hard to know if it will ever make it to court. But The Everett Herald reports that the teen's lawyer, John Henry Browne, is already laying the groundwork for a miserable childhood made me do it defense.

As you might remember, Harris-Moore's upbringing would never have received the Focus on the Family seal of approval. His was a pitiable adolescence best summed up by two sentences from a social worker's report written when the boy was 12: "Colton wants Mom to stop drinking and smoking, get a job and have food in the house. Mom refuses."

Thus far, Harris-Moore is playing the role of contrite law-breaker by saying he doesn't want to profit off of his story. And Browne says that during the majority of his client's two years on the run the boy was "lonely and scared."

It's a solid strategy. One that's likely to pay dividends should Harris-Moore's fate ever rest in the hands of 12 of his peers -- especially if those peers include women who understand how the itinerant thief's life might have turned out differently if only he'd been their son, rather than the brood of a woman seemingly allergic to nurture and discipline.

But damn if it won't be hard arguing that walking away from a crash-landed Cessna isn't the bees knees. Cuz boy does that sound like a good time, especially for a teenage boy.

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