Today in Sex: Wrap It Up, Grandpa!

According to a recent study published in the Annals of Internal Medicine, the latest posterboys for STDs aren't zit-riddled, priapic teens, but their gray, grizzled grandpas, brimming with renewed boner-ability thanks to drugs like Cialis and Viagra.

Not surprisingly, the STD rate in medicated geezers is twice as high as their drug-free peers, though according to the CDC, the all-around rate for men over 40 (medicated or not) is up nearly 50% in the last nine years. According to a story in Reuters, "Among the few percent of men who had filled prescriptions for erectile dysfunction drugs, more than two in a thousand had been treated for an STD in the year before they got the drug." Meaning once these slutty seniors got their drugs, they were even more likely to share the love--and their various infectious friends.

While young adults are still the most prolific reapers of various genital contagion, the geezers' rates of infection is growing at much higher speed. Researchers attribute this spike to above-the-belt better health and pharmaceutically aided sexual prowess. There's also the fact that the over-50 set is six times less likely to wrap it than their twentysomething brethren.

One of the researchers involved in the study, Dr. Anupam B.Jena told Reuters Health, "We are typically unaccustomed to practice safe sex over the age of 50, because the risk of pregnancy is eliminated."

I beg to differ. While the threat of pregnancy may have lessened (though who says they're only banging post-menopausal women?) unless they were late-bloomers, men in their mid-forties and above generally started having sex pre-hetero AIDS, pre-prophylactic saturation. If they were in a long marriage that ended, these are guys who've spent their entire lives having sex without a latex barrier between ween and womb. And as someone who's done the deed with gentlemen on both ends of the age spectrum, my unscientific research has shown that the youngsters are much more amenable to the concept of the love that is gloved, because they've grown up using condoms.

Which doesn't mean that all the young dudes are so careful, as the rates of STD infection among twentyish men is 10 times as high as their older counterparts. However, this is most likely because the young ones are having way more sex with a greater number of partners.

The takeaway from all this? Stupid--along with HIV, herpes, genital warts, syphilis and HPV--doesn't discriminate on the basis of age.

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