Today in Sex: Erase Your Ex

Is there any Facebook application more annoying than the one that "suggests" you friend random people? Whenever it's someone I actually know, it's inevitably someone I loathe or someone I've dated. (Who is often also someone I loathe.)

Now one enterprising agency, called Jess3, has come up with a plug-in to save us from the aggravation of stumbling across the cads (or cadettes) who done us wrong. Called The Ex-Blocker, all you do is specify which browser you use (it only supports Firefox and Chrome at the moment), type in your beloathed's name, Twitter handle, Facebook ID, and blog URL and poof! They're gone! At least from whatever browser you're using. (As far as I know, it won't go into your hard drive and wipe any naughty photos or humiliating epic poems you've written in their honor.)

Facebook and Twitter both already have fairly effective blocking mechanisms, but Ex-Blocker will also wipe your ex off Google, Tumblr, and anywhere else on the Web they might be lurking. If you have webstalker tendencies and little in the way of self-control, this was made for you. Unfortunately, if you're that much of a mess, you're probably not going to use it.

The plug-in is still being tweaked (it's not compatible with my version of Firefox and doesn't work on Safari), but even when it's all done it'll still have some shortcomings. Like if your ex has a very common name, like Joe Smith, it'll get rid of him, but it'll also get rid of all the other Joe Smiths on the planet. What if there's a hot Joe Smith? Also, you can only block five exes--a mere drop in the bucket of boobs I've dated.

And while there are certain exes I'd prefer not to see online, I'd also like to avoid them IRL. Is there something I can download that'll do that? Or do I have to invent a plug-in that'll throw him out of my favorite bar, cause my friends to uninvite him to their wedding, and make certain that he never again gets on the same bus as me?

Let me know when there's an app for that.

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