Target Practice is where we take aim at someone who deserves a little light buckshot in the ass. We hope to make it a daily sort of thing. Enjoy, won't you?
Fluffy had it coming.
Billie Jean and George Lehman are an older couple living in the coastal town of Westport who got pushed a hare too far. Like many from an earlier generation, the Lehmans grew up in a time when animals were seen as food, not pets.
This made it difficult for them to deal with their neighbor's rabbits. The furry little fornicators were cute. But they treated the Lehmans garden like Costco on sample day.
For months, the Lehmans sat back and watched the bunnies destroy the garden they'd worked so hard to grow. Zucchinis. Green beans. You name it, those bastards ate it.The Lehmans tried to go the conventional routes. They called animal control but were brushed off. They built a vegetable cover but watched the clever furballs find their way around it. They pleaded with their neighbors to keep the animals in a pen, but were met only with excuses.
So a couple days before Mother's Day, conventional got tossed out the window. Billie Jean cornered two infiltrators in her yard, including one owned by a four-year-old boy down the block, and dispatched them. Cut their heads off in fact.
The decapitations may have seemed brutal. But the exasperated couple rightly felt the time had come for some action.
"They had to go," Billie Jean told KOMO. "I chased those rabbits with that net around this yard until I'm black and blue all over."
Unfortunately, the simple logic that once ruled in the Lehmans' day has been replaced with a sphincterized version of law-and-order. Now Westport's Police Chief says the couple might have violated an ordinance. And to add insult to injury, animal control, who the Lehmans originally tried to reach out to, are considering a $1,000 fine.
"We are not going to pay for it, not for somebody else's stupidness," said George.
The Lehmans have the right idea. Now hop to it, Westport.