bing-logo_resize.jpg
Microsoft and the Storm--partners in decision engineering!
Just like in Europe, corporate logos are increasingly common on the jerseys of our pro athletes. Xbox360 Live

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Microsoft Beats Google in Critical WNBA Branding Battle

bing-logo_resize.jpg
Microsoft and the Storm--partners in decision engineering!
Just like in Europe, corporate logos are increasingly common on the jerseys of our pro athletes. Xbox360 Live has been slapped on the chests of the Sounders for several seasons, and now our WNBA franchise is joining the Microsoft family. The Seattle Storm announced this week "a multiyear marquee partnership with Bing, the decision engine from Microsoft."

Take that, Google! Microsoft has totally pwned you when it comes to WNBA synergy. (Also: Bing isn't just a search engine; it's a decision engine, whatever that means.) Storm players will wear their new Bing jerseys at the Sunday, May 2 preseason opener against the Phoenix Mercury. Says Microsoft, "The Seattle Storm is a major sports franchise in a major market." Well, absent the Sonics, that may be true. The deal will certainly allow Microsoft to reach a distaff demographic ("mothers comprise nearly 20 percent of Bing users"). And the branding campaign is surely better than MSFT's perplexing "New Busy." But how might Google retaliate ...?

  • KeyArena will immediately be erased from Google Street View
  • All Google searches for the Seattle Storm will be rickrolled
  • To bypass current NFL restrictions on advertising, Google will offer $1 million to any Seahawk player willing to tattoo its logo on his face
  • Encircle Seattle Center with giant server farm, making it impossible for WNBA fans to enter
  • Sue Bird, Swin Cash, and Lauren Jackson will be lured away with generous Google stock options to play for company's casual Friday night volleyball team
  • Gmail addresses containing the words "Seattle" or "Storm" will be blocked
  • Free tickets to see new Google-sponsored Women's Professional Lingerie Basketball League (with uniforms too skimpy for any corporate advertising at all)
  • Google will purchase NBA's Thunder, rename team SuperSonics, but leave them in Oklahoma City, just because it hurts
 
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