Matt Taibbi is probably best known as the guy who bitch slaps Goldman Sachs as often as the market bell rings. But he also knows his football. And one of Taibbi's guiding principles about how to conduct yourself during the NFL draft helps explain how the Seattle Seahawks landed former USC tight end Anthony McCoy, who many feel was a steal in the sixth round.
New rule: only draft stoners.
In his six rules for how to kill and plunder in the draft, Taibbi explained why dope smokers are a bargain:
Before the draft, teams spend far too much time worrying about the "character" issue, when the real question to ask is much narrower: "Can this player make it through his four- or five-year rookie contract without missing actual games due to incarceration?" Guys with drinking problems or who throw cell phones at their girlfriends' heads or get pulled over driving 110 with loaded unregistered pistols in their glove boxes are bad bets. Guys who just stay home and smoke weed while giggling at Manswers are not. Thus: Always draft the guy who falls in draft position due to a positive weed test. In fact, if a guy is regularly smoking buttloads of weed and he's still kicking ass in Division I football, grab that motherfucker quick.McCoy's slide to the second-to-last round in the draft came primarily because he tested positive for pot at the scouting combine. But if you're a Seahawks' fan, and the idea of having a pot smoker on your team makes you nervous, just remember: Jerramy Stevens never tested positive for anything, and that guy was an asshole.