The green mermaid doesn't care how you look in a swimsuit.
Warm weather means cold drinks. And at Starbucks, the iced mochas and frappuccinos have traditionally come in four sizes: Short, Tall, Grande, and Venti. The beauty to confusing customers with non-specific sizes, coupled with a foreign language for the two largest portions, has been to disguise the calorie content of those delicious drinks. It's also harder to calculate the health cost, and purchase price, when you start adding more shots of sugar, syrup, and foam. Web site callmethirsty.com has calculated that the impact of some drinks can exceed 700 calories. And Starbucks' own nutrition page allows you to minutely track the calories for each extra dollop of cream.
But now the math is about to get even more complicated, and the drinks that much more fattening, as Starbucks is test-marketing a gargantuan new serving size...
For those who prefer to put numbers on things, let's review the current Starbucks lineup:
Short = 8 oz.
Tall = 12 oz.
Grande = 16 oz.
Venti (iced) = 24 oz.
In winter, the biggest, most fattening order you could place would be a Venti-sized Peppermint Mint White Chocolate (at 730 calories). But that season is done, and now we're entering frappuccino weather, and SBUX is upping the portions. In certain markets, Starbucks Gossip reports, a new bucket-sized container has been spied. Tentatively called the Trenta ("the thirty" in Italian), this behemoth would measure a whopping 32 oz., pushing Starbucks ever closer to 7-Eleven and Big Gulp® territory.
Courtesy of Twitter
The proposed Trenta towers over the old Venti size.
Starbucks hasn't yet officially introduced the new serving size (or prices, or calories), but summer is just around the corner. And by upping the iced Venti size by 33 % to reach Trenta proportions, it now raises the maximum number of calories in a cup to almost 1,000 (for, say, a Mint Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino), which is basically a milkshake. But why stop there? Why not get all your daily calories in a single coffee drink? We'd like to see Starbucks also introduce the following sizes, with better translations from the Italian:
Quarante = 40 oz. (translation, "The 40")
Il Grasso = 50 oz. ("The Fattie")
Il Grassoccio = 70 oz. ("The Lard Ass")
Il Maiale Americano = 100 oz. ("The Piggy American")