According to prominent afterlife experts, Satan has reserved a special roped-off section of Hell for those criminals who prey on the weak and powerless, and do so anonymously. For that reason, the mysterious meatball-poisoning dog-killer of Spokane is almost assured a spot in Lucifer's champagne room.
Since Friday, the poisonous meat has been found in five separate locations, resulting in the deaths of three dogs. Investigators still don't know what kind of poison is being used, nor who's committing the crimes. But police acknowledge they're culprit likely faces an eternity in damnation.