David Stern's Not the President, Royce, He's the Spawn of Satan

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No, this isn't a Medal of Freedom, Mr. Young.
Many Seattleites, who still miss the hell out of the Sonics, view NBA commish David Stern as a doer of the devil's deeds. After all, without Stern's blessing, Seattleites would currently be buying tickets to the home games of a masterfully rebuilt team that's contending for a playoff berth long before anyone expected it to.

But to Oklahoma City fans, Stern is a godsend. That we get. What doesn't, however, pass the giggle test are awestruck press confessionals like the following, courtesy of Daily Thunder blogger Royce Young, who bumped into Stern over NBA All-Star weekend in Dallas:

"I've covered a good amount of stuff in my young journalism career and have talked to some pretty important people. Bob Stoops, Adrian Peterson, Sam Bradford, Chris Paul, Sam Presti, Kevin Durant, etcetera etcetera (I realize that was probably some insufferable name-dropping there). And through all that, I've never been really starstruck," writes Young. "Nobody has ever really made me completely stop and go, "Whoa. That's [insert person]." But it happened twice this weekend. First was when David Stern walked by me. Upon seeing him, my immediate thought was, "I don't belong here. This place where I'm currently standing, I shouldn't be at." Stern was just walking. Nothing fancy. But it was like seeing the President or something. You know he's important, but he also looks, very, very important."

Should Young ever encounter an actual U.S. President, let's hope his dry cleaner has a knack for getting rid of semen stains.

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