Vancouver Inquires About Winter Olympics Return Policy

If Olympic downhiller Bode Miller was a gold medalist, pictures like this would make him a folk hero. As is he's just a hungover disappointment.
Vancouver is hosting the red-headed stepchild of Olympic games in two weeks. Which is a problem because everything up North is generally going to hell.

First Mother Nature refused to cooperate with any of the necessary frozen precipitation. Now the citizenry are up in arms. Which tends to happen when you underestimate costs by a factor of, oh say, 15.

Initially, Vancouverites were told that housing, feeding and protecting the world's greatest (cold-weather) athletes would cost them only $660 million. Considering early economic impact studies showed a gain of $10 billion, this seemed more than reasonable.

But since even the PoliSci major who just declared to meet hot nerds can tell you economic impact studies are about as valuable as the paper they're printed on, those impressively rosy figures soon turned to shit in the face of fiscal reality.

Now the script has been flipped, with costs at $6 billion and counting and the "impact" now at a relatively paltry $1 billion. And the bad news couldn't come at a worse time.

Along with the usual housecleaning required of a city trying to impress during an international dinner party (which usually involves politely insisting the homeless hide in a broom closet and that protesters picket from a safe distance...down the block) Vancouver is facing its fair share of budget cuts.

Which means that the same week locals find out they've been double-billed for the privilege of watching Bode Miller drunkenly hit on their girlfriend the night before a race, they also learn that the city will be firing 800 of its teachers. All because of (wait for it) inadequate funding.

On a positive note, the IOC is now offering angry citizens free luge tickets. Which would be a lot less funny if it was made up, and not true.

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