Your pencils can be as meticulously sharp as Brian Miller's!
How enticing are the assets of Seattle Weekly? Very! And especially so this week.
As you may know, an alt-weekly called the San Francisco Bay Guardian recently won a $16 million legal judgment against the parent company of its rival, SF Weekly. The parent stands accused of pricing ads below cost in order to kill off the competition. (This is known among MBA students as the "Loaded for Bear" business model.)
SF Weekly's parent is part of a company called Village Voice Media that also owns Seattle Weekly. And since the Bay Guardianwon the right this week to go after the SF parent's assets--while the case is appealed--some have wondered whether the Bay Guardian might have an interest in Village Voice Media assets here in Seattle.
We all know that litigation is time-consuming, far more time-consuming than practicing journalism. So we thought we'd spare the busy Bay Guardian owners some trouble and provide this quick and easy guide to the prized assets they'll find around SW headquarters.
Guys, while the underlings churn out another annual "Green Issue," you might want to "kick the tires" on a few of these choice items:
1. Two-thirds-empty bottle of 1792 Ridgemont Preserve Barrel Select Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey from the desk of Mike Seely. (Act fast; available for a very limited time.)
2. Film memorabilia from the desk of Brian Miller.
3. Vinyl from the killer crates of music editor Chris Kornelis.
8. Sex columnist Dan Savage. Not technically a Seattle Weekly asset, but a Seattle resident. Since his column runs in SF Weekly and all other Village Voice Media papers, the Bay Guardian may want to consider him.
7. Two (2) identical pairs of Brooks sneakers from under the desk of Mark Fefer.