Balmer_WinMo_blog2.JPG
Can Ballmer save his ailing mobile platform?
Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer delivers a keynote address at 6:30 p.m. tonight at the annual Consumer Electronics Show

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How Steve Ballmer Can Save Windows Mobile at CES Tonight

Balmer_WinMo_blog2.JPG
Can Ballmer save his ailing mobile platform?
Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer delivers a keynote address at 6:30 p.m. tonight at the annual Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas. A lot is on the line. Especially for Windows Mobile, which is one step away from the glue factory.

Earlier this week, Google unveiled the Nexus One, a competitor to Apple's wildly successful iPhone. Introduced a year ago, Google's Android platform is rapidly gaining market share. And research firm Gartner predicts it'll surpass WinMo (whose latest version is long overdue) in two years or less.

With declining market share, WinMo 7 is a product on life support. So when Ballmer takes the stage tonight, in all his sweaty, fervid glory, here are the 10 features he should announce to give it a much-needed jolt.

  1. When you lick the phone, it tastes like chocolate
  2. New green light app overrides traffic signals for more efficient commute
  3. Phone also works as keyless remote for Lamborghini included with purchase
  4. No more porn filters
  5. Phone cost: Free. Software cost: Free. And Ballmer pays half the monthly plan out of his own personal fortune
  6. Puppy-cam offers live streaming of adorable golden retriever delivered free to your home
  7. Embedded security chip allows user to bypass all airport security lines
  8. Free replacement phone, no questions asked, if dropped in toilet
  9. Remote control TV app digitally erases Justin Long from those annoying Mac ads
  10. Dancing Ballmer screen saver (clothing optional)
 
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