A proper criminal knows better than to pick on anyone who's bigger, stronger or faster. Which makes one 16-year-old Seattle kid anything but a proper criminal.
Free tip for would-be robbers: Don't pick on the guy who runs for 90 minutes straight.
According to the Seattle police blotter, the teen and his 22-year-old victim were both waiting for the same Rainier Avenue bus late last Friday night when the robber, apparently struck by tech-envy, grabbed the other guy's phone and ran. This was a prime violation of Rule Number Three (don't engage a well-conditioned athlete in a foot race) as the quicker victim caught up to his slower scofflaw and began beating him with a soccer cleat.
Said footie player's counterattack was so effective the robber decided that handcuffs would be more fashionable than permanent scarring. So he flagged down a passing cop car, begged for mercy and got himself arrested. He's now being held in juvie on suspicion of burglary, where he'll have ample time to plan his next attack on a middle-aged golfer with a smoking habit.