Dan Noble is having a bad week.
Careful, lady. Too much of that stuff and you might be overcome with the urge to play pedestrian pinball.
On Monday, the 31-year-old financial analyst was spotted weaving in highway traffic. He then reportedly steered his Grand Am on to the main drag of the Washington State's campus, where he twice violated the driver-pedestrian code of honor by hitting two Cougar students while they were in the crosswalk.
According to police, when they finally caught up to him Noble was rambling and uncooperative. So they had to Tase him.
Friends and family say Noble's behavior is totally out of the ordinary. They say he's been stressed, overworked and not sleeping well. Noble's lawyer, however, says on top of being tired his client was also under the influence of a dangerous narcotic: Caffeine.He told a Whitman County judge that Noble's coffee intake was so high he might be suffering from "caffeine psychosis." A new legal tactic that the Oregonian has accurately dubbed "The Starbucks Defense."
No word yet on whether the judge bought the attorney's creative argument. But he did order Noble held without bail until he can be evaluated.
The over-caffeinated offender is charged with vehicular assault, felony hit-and-run, and resisting arrest. His two victims, meanwhile, are recovering in the hospital, having both suffered broken legs.