miltonbradleyangry.jpg
The only cure for flare-ups from new Mariner Milton Bradley is a steady dose of Valtrex.
When the Cubs sent bridge-burning malcontent Milton Bradley to

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Carlos Silva-Milton Bradley Trade Brings Out Sports Writing's Creative Side

miltonbradleyangry.jpg
The only cure for flare-ups from new Mariner Milton Bradley is a steady dose of Valtrex.
When the Cubs sent bridge-burning malcontent Milton Bradley to the Mariners for sad lump of clay Carlos Silva last Friday, it was more than a pair of new beginnings for two much-maligned baseball players. It was also a chance for writers, both paid and not, to come up with really colorful ways of explaining the swap.

After the jump, a few of the best.

- Jon Greenberg, ESPNChicago.com:

This was a baseball white elephant party. My trash for your garbage. Your abdominal pain for my headache.

- Phil Rogers, Chicago Tribune:

It's a trade of one of the worst Cubs ever for the best batting practice pitcher in the game.

- Mike Seely, Seattle Weekly:

In other Mariner trade crank news, isn't trading Carlos Silva for Milton Bradley a little like trading herpes for gonorrhea?

- Steve Kelley, The Seattle Times:

"It was an Advil deal. It was like trading a root canal for a punch in the mouth."

- Twitter feed of Dylan Wilbanks, University of Washington web developer and Mariners fan:

Trading a clubhouse cancer for a productive clubhouse cancer? Hells yeah.

- And finally, some dude who goes by the handle "dangerine" (on a musician's messageboard, of all places) with the most concise explanation possible:

Dog shit for cat shit, essentially.

The excitement. It's palpable.

 
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