The 15 Ways Sarah Palin Will Spend Her Thanksgiving Day in Washington State

palinwithturkey.jpg
Bright as a butter ball.
It is a sad fact that Washington State did much to spawn the rogue warrior. Her grandparents have lived in the Tri-Cities area since the 1940s. And both she and her husband received some of their schoolin' here. Now, the Tri-City Herald reports, she is planning to spend Thanksgiving Day in Richland, where her aunt still lives.

According to the Herald, "family members have been asked not to talk about Palin's Thanksgiving plans." All Palin herself has disclosed is a plan to participate in the Red Cross Turkey Trot and to start talking like Prince on Twitter.

But our Tri-Cities reporter, Brian Miller, has got the goods. His list of Palin's 15 Thanksgiving Day activities is after the jump.

1. Annual Jew round-up

2. Seize the land of Native Americans living next door

3. Book-signing, proselytizing, and forced conversion of non-believers at the local Wal-Mart

4. Conducting traditional TV interviews via network satellite

5. Showing birth certificate to anyone who asks

6. Turkey shooting, and shooting of any other animal within range of helicopter

7. Checking IDs and birth certificates of guests before meal

8. Counting $7 million book advance

9. Sending threatening text messages to Levi

10. Giving birth to babies six, seven, and eight

11. Causing Katie Couric's head to explode

12. Attempting to fire several members of Washington State Patrol

13. Prank calls to John McCain

14. Sending gift box of Vicodin and booze to Cyndi McCain

15. Covering windows with tinfoil, so government agents can't hear family say grace

 
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