You want Boeing? You want those low-paying, non-union jobs building the new 787 Dreamliner? Well guess what else you get, South Carolina? Drone-killing lasers, that's what!
Bow down to your new corporate rulers, give them more tax breaks, or they will incinerate you with a device so fearsome they actually call it MATRIX (the acronym for Mobile Active Targeting Resource for Integrated eXperiments).
Seriously. Your terrified state residents will now be governed by the MATRIX!
And if you don't like that, South Carolina, your new overlord also announced yesterday the successful testing of its "Laser Avenger" weapons platform.
What's that? "A lightweight 25mm machine gun" that employs "hybrid directed energy/kinetic energy capability." So don't even think about questioning Boeing's demands for more subsidies, favorable rezoning, non-strike provisions, exemption from environmental regulations--if your state even has any--or other forms of resistance. Resistance is futile.
And the MATRIX knows where you live, what you ate for breakfast, who you called on the phone, and the content of those emails to OSHA. A company spokesman warns, "MATRIX's performance is especially noteworthy because it demonstrated unprecedented, ultra-precise and lethal acquisition, pointing and tracking at long ranges using relatively low laser power." In other words, if you exhausted, underpaid South Carolina Dreamliner workers even mention the word "union," the Laser Avenger already knows your coordinates.