Certain college football teams have a tradition of using live animals as mascots. LSU has Mike, a caged tiger that sits on the sidelines during home games. Colorado has Ralphie, a buffalo "released" onto the field before kickoff with the help of denim-and-bolo clad handlers. And Texas has Bevo, the longhorn steer who served as inspiration for Oregon senior Alex Beard when he suggested that Oregon likewise adopt a live mascot. A live duck, of course.
Puddles, the stunningly energetic human in a duck costume, is fine, but why not spring for the real thing? We need an actual duck to epitomize the spirit of our University. If UT can have a live animal mascot, why can't we?
Worried about the cost? A well-bred Longhorn costs tens of thousands of dollars and requires acres of land for grazing. Ducks are free at Alton Baker Park, and they eat little plants and bugs and bread crumbs.
Concerned about safety? Bevo once charged the Baylor Marching Band during a game, and a Longhorn's horns can be seven feet long. Ducks don't even have teeth.