Monkeys Have Just as Sure a Grip When Affixed to Backs as Branches, as A-Roid Is Being Reminded

Thumbnail image for arodkissingarod.jpg
"Man I looked good--until I reverted to my usual choker form against the Phillies."
Through the first two rounds of the playoffs, things couldn't have played out any better for hated ex-Mariner and reputed steroid abuser Alex Rodriguez. So potent was A-Roid's bat against the Twins and Angels that he occasionally received Barry Bonds treatment, drawing intentional walks in situations where common logic would seem to prohibit such maneuvers. Plus, he's sexifying Kate Hudson, who can be seen in the front row of each game hanging on his every stroke.

But now, after leading his team to the World Series, A-Roid is starting to play like A-Roid usually plays in the post-season: horribly.

Through the first two games of the best-of-seven Series, headed back to Philadelphia with the combatants knotted in a 1-1 tie, A-Roid is 0-8 with six strikeouts. Phillie pitchers have made him look silly at the plate, alternating between fastballs in on his knuckles before and low breaking balls just off the outside corner. Writes the New York Post's Joel Sherman: "Rodriguez has turned back the clock to his previous Yankees Octobers during the first two games of the Fall Classic. He has plummeted from stand out to struck out. Philadelphia pitchers have not worked around him, and Rodriguez suddenly looks as if he gobbled down a heaping helping of kryptonite."

While A-Roid insists he's not concerned, if the mini-slump morphs into a mega-slump (and based on history, that's an extremely likely scenario) and the Yanks live to return home for a Game 6, expect A-Roid to be greeted by a very loud noise that rhymes with "pooh."

comments powered by Disqus