In what can only be described as the Most Important Journalistic Event of the Decade, The Daily Weekly made a visit to Montlake this morning to follow-up on a rumor: That University of Washington starting quarterback and all-around B.M.O.C. Jake Locker is a regular at a local body-waxing hot-spot.
Au natural. Or so he says...
Saturday's loss at Notre Dame would have convinced most people that the rumors were untrue. After all, if Locker was truly rolling friction-free, he no doubt would have scored on one of the half-dozen or so QB sneaks that would have sealed the game. Unfortunately, visual evidence alone isn't sufficient for capital "J" journalists like ourselves. We needed an answer...Of course, seeing as how we were standing face-to-broad-shoulder with a 6'3'', 225-pound specimen who NFL draft expert Mel Kiper calls the heavy favorite to go #1 in 2011, we didn't exactly come out and say we had heard Locker dabbled in the art of heated hair removal. Nor did we say that the rumor came with the name of a specific treatment (the "flying squirrel" -- try not to dream up a visual).
Instead we tap-danced around the issue. Asking Locker if he thought it acceptable for a man to get the ol' rip-and-run, rather than if he himself had ever had it done. Locker's response: "I would never." So that settles...that.