Bill Gates' Hood Cracks Down on Crime Wave With Cameras

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Sorry, Charles: We use cameras now.
If you haven't been to Medina lately, there's a good chance it's because of the crime wave that has seized the tony Lakeside suburb. It's like the first half of a bad Charles Bronson movie. Fortunately, though, the police department knows that the best way to solve that is not via the mustachioed shitkicker the French called "Monstre Sacre" ("Holy Monster")--sadly, he's dead--but rather via the ubiquitous cameras provided in other fictional examples, the sorts of examples Amazon's likely to lift from your Kindle under cover of night.

The suburb will have the surveillance cameras everywhere, reports KOMO, in an article that confuses burglaries (breaking into a house or building with the intention of committing a crime) with robberies (using violence or the threat of violence to steal another's property).

For a little perspective, know that in the last two years, Medina has had 17 burglaries and 1 robbery. Which is 17 and 1 too many. Hence the cameras, of which they may need 18,000 to address the current crime wave. (They won't, however, be abused, the police chief asserts, without providing specifics--and the reporter appears not to ask for any.) Either way, the closing implies that the cameras' mere presence should be enough to deter the crime. Maybe Phinney should look into buying a few.

 
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