What Shall We Do With the Drunken Sailor?

Give her a BUI, of course! (BUI=boating under the influence ticket.) This year's Seafair captains were a lot boozier than last years--at least if you go by BUIs. (Quoth The Lonely Island's Akiva Schaffer, "Fuck trees; I climb BUIs, motherfucker!") Authorities handed out 110 citations for the offense during the festival, reports the P-I, a 23% increase over last year. One dude even got cited on both nights of the festival. Seattle may not be as Seafair-focused as it used to be, but Seafair is just as boozy as ever.

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