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In its neverending quixotic quest to out-compete its competitors at its competitors' games, Microsoft is opening retail stores in close proximity to those of Apple.

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Our Retail Customer Service Associate Can Beat Up Your Genius: Microsoft Looking for Muscle

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In its neverending quixotic quest to out-compete its competitors at its competitors' games, Microsoft is opening retail stores in close proximity to those of Apple. (As noted previously, this echoes a plotline from Arrested Development. See also here.) But even if the 'Softies have trouble competing on the retail front--will prospective iPod buyers instead be drawn in by the gleam of a new Zune?--nobody will be kicking any sand in their face, because they'll have muscle.

M'soft's listings specify that retail customer service associates must be able to lift 75 lbs repeatedly, while retail trainers must be able to handle 50. But Steve Ballmer says that if the new retailers really want to move up in the ranks, they'll yell "I love this company!" with each hoist.

 
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