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No doubt you're familiar with the show that put reality TV on the map, but in case you're not, know that seven strangers are picked to live in a house, and they stop being polite and start being real. Real=drunk, horny, narcissistic, and likely to get arrested for any of the following (list is non-exclusive): fighting, public drunkenness, public urination, assaulting a horse.
The auditions run from 10 AM to 5 PM at Fuel Sports Eats and Beats in Pioneer Square. To have a shot, you must be between 18 and 24, and bring a photo ID and a recent picture of yourself.
Here are the 13 Seattleites we think should try out:
1. Frank Colacurcio Sr.
presence would ensure the house a steady stream of accommodating women and laundered money. Could become first ever cast member to make it rain.
1. Frank Colacurcio Sr.-- He's older than 24, yes, but he has the libido to keep up. And his
2. Amanda Knox -- Innocent until proven guilty, Foxy Knoxy could use a break from all the stress in Italy, and the trial will of course make for good drama. Easy on the eyes and clearly likes to party. If things don't go well, you have Clue, the TV show.
3. Jon Brockman -- Husky hoop star has muscles to fill shirtless-guy role, and his vow to remain a virgin until marriage could make for good drama, as the household will provide him no shortage of temptations. Bonus: Brockman was once Jockdreams.com's Jock of the Day.
4. Erika Hobart -- SW writer parties hard, loves the same things MTV's audience does (e.g. Beyonce, Lady Gaga), and never lacks for male suitors. Plus, she grew up in Japan, which would provide the show some much-needed international flavor. Bonus: her ass is Mix-a-Lot-approved.
Hobart (left) gets down on Halloween
5. Fremont Solstice Parade Naked Cyclist -- Constant nudity and body paint are the next frontiers for the reality juggernaut.
6. Nate Robinson -- Full of energy and loves to dance.
7. Mariner Moose -- 19 years old, spirited, and loved by all ages, the Moose would be perfect leader for one of those Joose/Red Bull & vodka-fueled nights on the
town. Also would be the first non-human cast member on show that prides itself on breaking new ground.
8. Robin Pecknold -- Fleet Foxes frontman "says he's never been to a party and he hates bars, due to overwhelming social anxiety." What better way to ease into it than in a nurturing household with 6 narcissists and cameras everywhere?
9. Camille Little -- Storm star has good looks, "easily blended with her new teammates", and chased down pickpockets who got her in Italy, suggesting she'll be a valuable team member in the inevitable house vs. townies drunken club fight.
10. Jamie Pedersen -- Though 40 years old, Representative Pedersen would still likely get carded when the gang hits its watering holes. And after the rest of them get arrested for aforementioned fight, smart and responsible Pedersen can bail them out of jail. Also fills the token gay slot.
11. Venoy Overton -- Heavily-tatted UW baller backs down from no one, and would be first cast member with a grill. Unless, of course, he sold it for religious reasons. Also, appearance and mannerisms are likely to draw token ignorant statement from token ignorant housemate, fueling racial tensions and Nielsen ratings.
12. Ron Sims -- He may be 60, but he tweets like a teen, and his inclusive nature and easy hugs would help quell intra-house disputes. Plus, he needs something to do while he waits for his confirmation hearings.
13. P-I Globe -- The life cycle of the globe exceeds that of the human; hence the 61-year-old globe is really the equivalent of a young adult. Plus, he parties harder than anyone and is friends with Lil Wayne.