frank-costanza.jpg
In further evidence that he's not messing around, new UW football coach Steve Sarkisian is importing USC's practice schedule . Described in this Orange County

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The Sarkisian-Costanza Connection

frank-costanza.jpg
In further evidence that he's not messing around, new UW football coach Steve Sarkisian is importing USC's practice schedule. Described in this Orange County Register article, it sounds a little like Frank Constanza's Festivus (of Seinfeld fame) extended to several days. Today, we examine each day of the schedule and its Frank Costanza connection:

TRUTH DAY (MONDAY), "in which the coaches show the players all their blemishes."

Costanza connection: Festivus' airing of grievances. Says Frank, "And at the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year!" Bonus connection: Steinbrenner visits the Costanzas to let them know that George has apparently died, and Franks shouts, "What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for? He had 30 home runs and over 100 RBIs last year! He has a rocket for an arm! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE DOING!"

COMPETITION TUESDAY, "an afternoon in combat" in which the 1st team offenses and defenses battle to establish supremacy, as judged by the head coach.

Costanza connection: Festivus' Feats of Strength. Post-dinner wrestling matches, so intense that George often fled the room crying. Per Festivus tradition, the celebration wasn't over until someone pinned the head of the household. Presumably, Coach Sark, a former quarterback, will not be playing on Competition Tuesdays.

TURNOVER WEDNESDAY, "in which the Trojans work on protecting footballs they hold and liberating footballs that they don't."

Costanza connection: The manssiere, designed to protect the loose lumps of the mammarially-endowed male and thus liberate him from jiggly embarrassment.

NO-REPEAT THURSDAY, "in which all the plays are rehearsed in game speed, presumably without flaws."

Costanza connection: Lloyd Braun's sales. The chipper employee of Frank's garage-based computer business racks up ridiculous sales numbers--but it turns out he was just rehearsing. His phone wasn't plugged in.

WALK-THROUGH FRIDAY, in which the team walks through its plays.

Costanza connection: None. Frank doesn't half-ass anything. And no one tells him what to do!

 
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