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Derek Zumsteg at the USS Mariner provides the best Mariners depth chart ever , with positions like "Awesome", "Resented Japanese Faction", "Resenting Japanese Faction", and

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Miguel Batista: Token Clubhouse Intellectual, Grizzled Old Guy, Poor Man's Tim LaHaye?

avengerofblood.jpg
Derek Zumsteg at the USS Mariner provides the best Mariners depth chart ever, with positions like "Awesome", "Resented Japanese Faction", "Resenting Japanese Faction", and "Resenting Japanese Faction Leader".

Crappy pitcher Miguel Batista is the sole occupant of two positions: "Token Clubhouse Intellectual" and "Grizzled Old Guy". In case you didn't know or somehow forgot, M's fans, that guy you boo wrote a crime novel, The Avenger of Blood: A Plot Where Real Facts and Evidences Face Faith.

Batista explained the book, whose dialogue pained at least one local sportswriter (though to be fair, that may be more on the translator), to Arizona's East Valley Tribune:

"I have always been a great admirer of the law," says the

35-year-old native of the Dominican Republic. "And I wanted to write

('The Avenger of Blood') because I think it is very interesting when

facts meet matters of faith in court." The book tells the story of a

14-year-old boy on trial as a serial killer. The boy is caught on

videotape, killing a man at a gas station. But it isn't as simple as

that.

"The boy also has supernatural powers," says Batista. "This is also documented."

Which is all well and good, but we're wondering whether in this time of credit crises, bailouts, and stimulus packages, Batista is anywhere near finishing the project he said would be his next--a novel about "a runaway government project that threatens to bring about Judgment Day."

We haven't read your stuff, Miguel, so it wouldn't be fair for us to tell you to stick to baseball. Plus, we've seen you pitch.
 
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