After news broke that Bob Davis, former owner of Giggles Comedy Club, plans to turn Cyndy's House of Pancakes into a strip joint (possibly one

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An Imagined Conversation Between Frank Colacurcio Sr. and Bob Davis

After news broke that Bob Davis, former owner of Giggles Comedy Club, plans to turn Cyndy's House of Pancakes into a strip joint (possibly one that serves pancakes), Davis received a call from local strip joint king/perpetual subject of organized crime investigations Frank Colacurcio Sr..

colacucio.jpg          bobdavis.jpg
Frank                                           Bob

Frank: Bob, it's Frank Colacurcio. Welcome to the business.
Bob: Uh, what business is that, Frank?
Frank: You know goddamn well what business.
Bob: I plan on opening a dance club.
Frank: That's why I fucking called you. Why don't you let Frankie run it?
Bob: With all due respect, Frank--
Frank: I can make this a very profitable operation for you.
Bob: Thanks for the offer, but--
Frank: Look, here are the rules. If you give a handjob, charge for it.
Bob: Uh, Frank--
Frank: IF YOU GIVE A BLOWJOB, CHARGE FOR IT!
Bob: Look, I'll serve the best syrup Aunt Jemima can make, but I'm not giving any blowjobs. 
Frank: Not you, jerkoff. Your girls. You think they're gonna make you rich on fuckin' flapjacks?
Bob: I don't know who you think I am, but I'll have you know that I'm a former airline pilot with feathered, blond hair and a nice tan.
Frank: If you know what's good for you, you'll let me help you with your operation.
Bob: All the hot stewardesses earned their wings with Captain Bob. I'm the president of the Mile High Club.
Frank: You're a punk. You're a dimestore Jack Tripper.
Bob: You don't talk to me like that. I RAN GIGGLES!
Frank: Let me in on this shit, or we're taking it to the mattresses.
Bob: Don't think I don't know what that means. I've seen 'You've Got Mail'!
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