Gates Declares War on Butts


Scolding nanny-state billionaires to the rescue! NYC mayor Michael Bloomberg provoked half the chain-smoking fourth estate with that city's smoking ban. Now Bill Gates and the Gates Foundation have joined with Bloomie in a half-billion dollar anti-smoking campaign, to be called Mpower. Bloomberg, known for being a great deal more caustic and quotable than Gates, is a reformed former smoker--hence his anti-nicotine zealotry (as some consider it). Gates is not known to have been a smoker.

After eradicating smoking, the two may next declare war on tattoos and excessively tight jeans, thereby making Capitol Hill safe for us ordinary Teva-and-Dockers-wearing Seattleites.

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