novak_douchebag_of_liberty.jpg

He calls himself The Prince of Darkness (that's even the title of his autobiography). Robert Novak, the arch-conservative 77-year-old DC political writer/commentator who's haunted that

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At Last: Robert Novak in the Daily Weekly!

novak_douchebag_of_liberty.jpg

He calls himself The Prince of Darkness (that's even the title of his autobiography). Robert Novak, the arch-conservative 77-year-old DC political writer/commentator who's haunted that town since the Kennedy administration (when he was allegedly a liberal), was in the news earlier this month, and not for something he said. Instead, as The Washington Post reported, he ran down a pedestrian who was in a crosswalk with a green light. Novak, driving a powerful Corvette, then fled the scene until--get this--he was chased down and stopped by a liberal trial lawyer riding a bicycle! (Oh the sweet irony.) Jalopnik has an excellent thread on the subject here; as does the HuffPo here.

Seattle liberals know and hate Novak for many reasons, not the least being his famous outing of Valerie Plame, the CIA agent and wife of Joseph Wilson, the diplomat who had the temerity to question the Bush administration's evidence and rationale for invading Iraq. But that's old news.

But here's the local connection, again reported by Jalopnik. Novak now says he has a brain tumor. If true, that's terrible; but the guy has lived a long, full, spiteful life. But according to both Jalopnik (and the Associated Press), a Seattle physician may be giving Novak the excuse he needed for mowing down pedestrians with his muscle car.

Quoth the AP:

"Dr. Lynne Taylor, a neuro-oncologist at Virginia Mason Medical Center in Seattle, said residents at the hospital are taught to check for brain tumors in patients who report having a recent car accident in which they didn't realize they struck something."

And says Dr. Taylor:

"People get spatial and visual neglect of a certain part of their bodies and they don't realize they've done what they've done."

So the next time you run down a jaywalker (Novak's victim also happened to be a homeless dude), you can invoke the Novak Defense, which also applies in many other potentially awkward situations. As in, "Dino Rossi? I didn't even realize I voted for the guy."

 
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