Looking for the Weekly on your cruise home to Bremerton? Well, you're shit out of luck: the beleaguered agency responsible for operating Puget Sound's decrepit ferry fleet has decided that our cover depicting Johnny Depp preparing to give Santa a much-needed shave is unsuitable for public display. Rumor has it that WSF maintenance crews are instead going to use their allotted quota of hard copies to plug holes in leaky hulls. Santa's pretty pissed about the whole thing, accusing WSF of being prejudiced against the utilitarian value of razors, and some irate regulars have threatened a boycott of overpriced Red Hook at ferry snack bars from Vashon to Victoria. The children of ferry staffers have also been added to Santa's "naughty" list, and will therefore receive lumps of coal for Christmas.