The P.I.'s Metro section today leads with Brad Wong's riveting story of a water main leak in White Center. Here, Wong unwittingly makes an area man look like the biggest douchebag alive with the following lead: "In his soggy White Center house, resident Ron Stokes studied his red guitar signed by the Canadian rock band Loverboy. After spotting mud and cracks next to the band members' autographs, he screamed." Stokes obviously wasn't lovin' every minute of it, especially if his red leather pants and headband were floating across the floor as well.