"Employment cures many problems," says Goodspaceguy Nelson, candidate for Dow Constantine's King County Council seat, "and helps some homeless people buy vans." Which is to

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Or the curtain falls on campaign comedy.

"Employment cures many problems," says Goodspaceguy Nelson, candidate for Dow Constantine's King County Council seat, "and helps some homeless people buy vans." Which is to say that this - today's balloting - ends the entertainment portion of our program. Primary races - the little guy's election - traditionally are more fun, even when merrily baffling: if more people had more jobs, reasons Goodspace, "we could then open our libraries more and investigate more crime." But after today, the campaign underdogs go home and the serious winners pair up and trudge glumly off to the general election. No more John Potter, county council candidate, railing about "gold-plated schemes like monorail and the mayor's Big Dig...[and] unproven toys like Light Rail and Lake Union Trolley car!" No more Wen Wu Lee, port candidate, noting that, as a flight attendant, she's "trained to handle terror/threat." No more Ed Fruit, a Socialist Worker candidate running for the Seattle School Board on a campign opposing profit-driven employers and imperialist wars. And no more The-Anh Nguyen, port commission hopeful, waxing in the 2007 Voter's Pamphlet about how toxic health hazards interrupted one of his favorite pastimes: "As the sun blazed on my back and the cool breeze of Alki Beach brushed against my twelve-year-old cheeks, I was breathing heavily as I pushed my gardening shovel into the sand, searching for clams and geoducks." Alas, a week later, warning signs were raised about "possible infested marines." Unless a marvelous thing happens - one of them wins - voters begin your frowns. As Goodspaceguy says, perhaps foreshadowing his fate today, "Unemployment is a huge waste."

 
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