Oh, thank God! I can finally bring my precious lighter on the airplane with me again. I mean, the fact that for the last two years I had to carry matches on with me so I could smoke when I got off the plane was too much of a hassle. I always forgot to pack my lighter in my check-in luggage and always had to throw it away at security. No longer! I guess my heroes at the tobacco lobby finally bought off the feds.
Well, I guess if I ever join al-Qaeda, it'll be a little easier for me to light a shoe bomb, like that one guy, it'll be sooooo much easier. Too bad for me that terrorism looks like hard work and seriously, who wants to blow themselves up, it's like sooo messy!