Had a friend in town from St. Louis this weekend, whose keenest observation about Seattle culture was how people will patiently stand at a crosswalk waiting for

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Ask a Laid-Back Midwesterner

St. Louisan asks: Why we no jaywalk?

Had a friend in town from St. Louis this weekend, whose keenest observation about Seattle culture was how people will patiently stand at a crosswalk waiting for a stoplight to turn even if there are no moving cars within a five-mile radius. He found this hilarious. So do I. But better safe than sorry, right? Wrong.

Yesterday morning, while cruising up the northbound 99 merge lane near Canlis and the Aurora Bridge, my '85 Volvo encountered a late-90's Volvo (read: the really shittily designed, post-Ford takeover edition) with a "No Iraq War" bumper sticker at a dead stop, waiting for all three lanes of traffic to clear before he merged. I honked. He started moving. Then he stopped, almost causing me to rear-end him at full force.

What ensued was a gestureless "car fight" in which both of us casually passed and pulled in front of one another until the Zoo, at which point it got old. I remarked how convenient it would have been to have a carton of eggs in the car to pelt this newer, crappier Volvo with. Before the day ended, there were two other incidents where I felt like yoke on the windshield would have been a proper response. Look at it this way: It's better than road rage where two meatheads stop traffic and fight. Can this be legalized? Pretty please?

 
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