"Tips to avoid coyote problems." The e-mail and attached press release from the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife couldn't have come at a better

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Press Release of the Week

Only Monday, and our downtown wildlife complaints are solved.

"Tips to avoid coyote problems." The e-mail and attached press release from the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife couldn't have come at a better time, because Seattle Weekly has been positively plagued with coyotes of late. Did they just emerge from winter hibernation in our basement or climb aboard a truck in North Bend? We're not certain, but they're causing all kinds of mischief around here. To wit: coyotes made me late for today's staff meeting; and, distracted by the wily scavengers overrunning our office, I had no good story ideas to contribute. Also, I blame coyotes for various recent typos and misspellings in my work, and ongoing issues with my PC. How can anyone concentrate around here with all these damn coyotes rooting through our trashcans, messing with the fax machine, and misplacing photos? Haven't these critters heard of deadlines?

What caused this infestation of Canis latrans? According to Capt. Bill Hebner of the WDFW (which provides more disturbing coyote information, and graphic images of coyote poop, on its Web site): "The common denominator in many of these incidents is that first someone fed wild animals. Once a wild animal is fed, it loses its natural fear of humans, becomes more bold, and becomes more dangerous to pets and people." And dangerous to one’s career. I intend to get to the bottom of this coyote invasion with a special investigative report—as soon as I find out what happened to my sandwich. It was sitting on my desk a few minutes ago right next to my Pulitzer Prize, which has also now mysteriously disappeared...

 
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