Why is it that a public who demands apologies from stars who buy blowjobs from street prostitutes gives a pass to the ones who claim ignorance when they're caught with tranny hookers? "How was I supposed to know she had a penis?" both the American comedian and the Brazilian soccer star have protested, generating enough pity for the poor, duped star to dispel the moral outrage. As for me, I've seen pictures of the gals in question—in Ronaldo's case, both of them—and let me tell you: No one was fooled. I can't say the same of the pinup in the men's bathroom at Copper Gate. Even a straight guy would be overwhelmed by all the vintage nudies plastered around the Ballard bar, so I never looked that closely at the pretty, topless blonde posted up across from the urinal, until a friend returned from his bathroom break, slack-jawed, and reported that she had testicles peeking out of her bikini bottoms. My whole party, male and female, followed him back to the loo to confirm. Now that is one tranny who can pass.—Jonathan Kauffman