I first heard of the dork ( Uarrsuccia duibius ) in elementary school. This mythical creature seemed to be everywhere and nowhere—every day, students on

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Best New Species

The Lunchbox Laboratory

I first heard of the dork (Uarrsuccia duibius) in elementary school. This mythical creature seemed to be everywhere and nowhere—every day, students on the playground would point and scream its name, yet no "sighting" could be confirmed, since anything so identified would deny the accusation. All praise to Lunchbox Laboratory's Scott Simpson, then, for finally tracking down the dork and grinding it up. As with so many other members of the animal kingdom (ostrich, iguana), I may never have encountered the dork in the wild, but now I can say that I have eaten it, licked my lips, and would eat it again, anytime. Formed into fat patties and pan-fried to order, Simpson's dork burgers have all the meaty richness of duck and the full-flavored succulence of pork (some disbelievers have detected hints of ground-up pepperoni in the mix). Simpson offers a bewildering array of toppings to complement his dork burger, and I can personally attest to the glories of sesame-garlic sauce and caramelized onions.—Jonathan Kauffman

 
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