Email Author Richard Meltzer

2003 Stories by Richard Meltzer

• The Yardbirds

  published June 25, 2003

  The Yardbirds are touring with two original members, you say? Commerce and vanity 're funny! If the Stones were suddenly... More >>

• The Fall

  published June 18, 2003

  From 1979 to somewhere in the mid-'80s, me and Mark Smith of the Fall, the second greatest band of the late 20th century, were (let's... More >>

• The 360° Manitoba

  published June 11, 2003

  WHETHER LEATHER-BOUND history-book history regards them so or not, the Dictators were the New York band, chronologically... More >>

• Yo La Tengo

  published June 11, 2003

  Guess whatI'm opening for Yo La Tengo! Um, well, not in Seattle. In Portland. The day after . . . the 14th. Don't know if they're paying... More >>

• Goatwhore

  published June 4, 2003

  The word whore is a fine word, an awe-inspiringly OUTSTANDING word. Few words in English have as much linguistic linguini. When me and... More >>

• Red Elvises

  published May 28, 2003

  1956what are the TWO PRINCIPLES of urgent note for White America? Elvis. The terrible Commies. Slam them 2-gether in '03: hybrids so... More >>

• Lagwagon

  published May 21, 2003

  Name Withheld of Renton writes: "Recently, quite by accident, I came upon samples of your writing at the Addicted to Noise Web site and found... More >>

• Everclear

  published May 14, 2003

  It carry always could you guess I well. Steer couldn't you then and hood the on out sit hafta would you. Tiny kinda was it however... More >>

• Lizzie West

  published April 30, 2003

  Right this second, in another state, Lizzie West is a stream of flowing blue liquid of the same viscosity as whatever it was they used... More >>

• Jonny Lang

  published April 23, 2003

  Whew. Finished. Eyes. Teeth. Four hours in a day! Days w/out wacking (the sap dries up). Evening the score? The score is even. Did they shorten... More >>

• Cat Power

  published April 16, 2003

  Cool retro!!! First there was "Let's Spend the Night Together": baba daba, bop bop a daba . . . work OUT! Then there was... More >>

• My Chemical Romance

  published April 9, 2003

  A Tale of Two Cities, starring My Chemical Romance. It was the best of times and the worst of October. In the year of our lord... More >>

• The Ataris

  published April 2, 2003

  In Pittsburgh, they're called tobos. Residents of Hartford know them as sarsaps, possibly short for sarsaparilla, that New... More >>

• A Static Lullaby

  published March 26, 2003

  If you love your dog, listen to the experts! "Howard Keel's The TLC Method of Training Your Dog offers a solid no-nonsense... More >>

• Cephalic Carnage

  published March 19, 2003

  Music lovers unite! We need to smoke 'em out, get 'em on the run, and bring 'em to justice! Stealing the tools of a music maker's trade is a... More >>

• Ellen Says No

  published March 12, 2003

  On Friday, March 14, the Oslo finch, the three-toed Canadian titmouse, the rainbow potato fish (from Bora Bora), Randolph's euglena, the... More >>

• 7/11/77

  published March 5, 2003

  For all intents and porpoises, the gigging juggernaut known as the Dark Star Orchestra has but one basic fancy: to simulate, perchance... More >>

• Fusionoid Peckerheads

  published February 26, 2003

  And Then the Crowd Showed Up by Tobin Sprout. What a beautiful, brilliant, flimsy little song. The perfect mix of music, motive,... More >>

• Rhymes with Seltzer

  published February 12, 2003

  Could there be a more versatile band, worldwide, than moe.? Not likely! They are the only group to finish in the top 10 in... More >>

• Rhymes with Seltzer

  published February 5, 2003

  Effective Feb. 10, 2003, Rock & Roll Hall of Famers Blue Oyster Cult will be certified as a smoke-free environment. Under this... More >>

• Rhymes with Seltzer

  published January 29, 2003

  Jolene Flebb of Woodway writes: "Your recent walk down Band Name Lane was a wonderful, terrific, and educating experience—you should do... More >>

• Rhymes with Seltzer

  published January 22, 2003

  Just got the prepublication proofs on as dandy, cool, and cookin' a rock book as has passed this desk in many moons: Got Some, or: And,... More >>

• Rhymes with Seltzer

  published January 15, 2003

  Smiley Montanegro of Redmond writes: "I'm blind, OK? Can't see shit. I'm also plenty peeved at your sheet. You don't publish a Braille edition,... More >>

• Rhymes with Seltzer

  published January 8, 2003

  Moby Dick by Henry Rollins. Call me Ishmael. Manhattan before Woody, Rudy, and 9/11. Rock, rock, Rockaway Beach. Queequeg, my bro, would... More >>

• Rhymes with Seltzer

  published January 1, 2003

  Walter Battfatt of Bremerton writes: "It's always fun to learn that a famous and successful band, known the world over, previously made records... More >>