Email Author John Metcalfe

2007 Stories by John Metcalfe

• When Cutting Yourself, Use the Right Kind of Blade

  published December 26, 2007

  Selections from the Daily Weekly, our news, politics, and media blog. More >>

• Stocking Stuffers Courtesy of TSA, and Your Pocket

  published December 19, 2007

  If you get your prized pocketknife snatched by airport security this holiday season, you might want to put in a call to Dexter Dobbins. He's... More >>

• What's Harder: The WASL or SPD Paperwork?

  published December 5, 2007

  Police work requires an affinity for high-speed chases and knocking heads. But it also demands a knack for prose. When the dust clears, an... More >>

• Quiz: Is Wexley School for Girls a Restaurant, an Ad Agency, or a College Preparatory Institution?

  published November 28, 2007

  There's a new Chinese restaurant downtown. Or at least it looks like a Chinese restaurant, until you get up close and notice the... More >>

• Pike Street All-Stars

  published November 28, 2007

  Jason Yori was walking to a veterans meeting about five years ago when he became tired—really tired. He saw a Dumpster. Bed, he... More >>

• I Ate This: Rowdy's BBQ Sundae

  published November 14, 2007

  What: BBQ Sundae Where: Rowdy Cowgirl BBQ, 3620 Stone Way N., 954-1100, More >>

• An Evening With Faggedy Randy

  published November 14, 2007

  You come for an innocent night of dinner theater; you leave with a freaky mummer named "Faggedy Randy" having had his way with you. So it goes... More >>

• How One Man Got Shitfaced Without a Single Drink

  published November 7, 2007

  Three weeks into his job as a pump maintenance worker at Seattle Public Utilities, Dan Dunlop went to a U District... More >>

• The Teenage Jehovah's Witness, and His Tribute to the Man in Black

  published November 7, 2007

  This summer, musician Emmanuel "Vinny" Miranda had an angry conversation with a girl that ended with him hanging... More >>

• Crossing the Line: What Kind of a Jerk Would Defect to North Korea? Oh…

  published November 7, 2007

  In 1962, U.S. Army Pvt. James Dresnok walked north across the Korean demilitarized zone, firing upon his own troops as he deserted. Now he's... More >>

• “Fried Footballs” at Maekawa

  published October 17, 2007

  What: A genton. Where: Maekawa Bar, 601 S. King St., No. 206. INTERNATIONAL DISTRICT ... More >>

• Bacon Doesn't Recommend Pigs for Everyone

  published October 3, 2007

  Few animals have the ability to irritate like a pig. That is why, after the nation's hot but brief affair with Asian potbellies in the early... More >>

• Pygmy Goats: Not in My Neighborhood

  published September 26, 2007

  Last Tuesday, Ellen Taft added another animal to her shit list. The setting was City Hall, where council... More >>

• Let’s Goat Crazy!

  published September 12, 2007

  For years, Jim had been bugging his wife, Amy, for goats. Not because he'd grown up on a farm or had developed a sudden craving for goat milk.... More >>

• Wann's Happy Hour Isn’t Daring, but at Least It's Cheap

  published September 5, 2007

  Among the plurality of perfectly square objects in the year-old Wann Japanese Izakaya are tables, booths, chair backs, plates, and floor... More >>

• A Potentially Deadly Catch, Only $13

  published August 29, 2007

  Where? Saito's Japanese Cafe & Bar, 2120 Second Ave., 728-1333, More >>

• The Casino, the Mayor's Son, and the Shuffle That May Have Suckered Them Both

  published August 22, 2007

  On a recent July evening, gamblers at the Nooksack River Casino heard an odd thing: A casino employee begging for somebody to win. The... More >>

• Best Importer of Incendiary Spices: East African Imports

  published August 1, 2007

  Perhaps the smartest decision Berhane Amanuel made in his life was leaving his mother behind in Ethiopia when he emigrated in 1987. Now... More >>

• Real Stories of Metro Transit's Meanest, Weirdest, Cheapest, Horniest, and Smelliest Passengers

  published July 25, 2007

  Last June, Metro Transit driver Lori Cogar was driving the Route 71 bus in the University District when she heard someone yelling to be let... More >>

• Baranof: Soggy Tacos, Stiff Drinks, and 13 Hours of Happy Hour

  published July 11, 2007

  I have to thank the Baranof for some life lessons. First, dinner shouldn't be ordered by name but by dollar amount. "Gimme $4 of tacos,"... More >>

• SAM: Art Critics Love Jerks Like Maurizio Cattelan

  published June 20, 2007

  Any art that traumatizes children is OK in my book. A museum guard says he recently watched a boy from a school group standing in front of... More >>

• Meet the Housing Authority's Chief Vending-Machine Detective

  published June 6, 2007

  Rick Harrison's career as a vending-machine detective began the day he moved into Cedarvale House, a Seattle Housing Authority apartment... More >>

• One Man's Brutal Encounter With Sexual Abuse In the Mormon Church

  published May 30, 2007

  Shortly after Robert Rinde was born in 1969, his father, Robert Larry Leroy Pitsor Sr., decided that the infant would grow up as a Mormon. It... More >>

• Do You Fancy a Beer That's Spent Time With the Elements?

  published May 16, 2007

  Beer brings out the omnivore in us all: I've seen drunks down everything from Siamese fighting fish to a Costco-sized tub of rancid ham. It's... More >>

• Downtown's Gun Business Takes Another Beating

  published May 9, 2007

  Behind the counter at Central Loan & Gun Exchange hangs a six-and-a-half-foot-long assault rifle. The recoil from such a weapon could... More >>