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Posted Oct. 4, 2007 at 2:46 pm by Mike Seely

More than just the other white meat, "pork" is also a versatile swear word. I first became aware of the chameleonlike powers of pork while watching the aptly-titled film Porky's in my intellectually malnourished youth. Then I remember watching Teen Wolf (btw, why is this masterwork not available on DVD yet?), and began associating the term "pork" with a teenaged wolf "motorboating" his hairy nose and lips in a homecoming queen's ample bosom. Through further miracles of cinema, it became evident that the term pork could encompass just about any sexual act rated PG-13 or worse.

But pork's versatility is a double-edged sword. While "screw" and "blow-j" have very specific connotations, pork is something of a headscratcher. It achieves specificity only when placed in proper context. Hence, pork is the storyteller's swear, boasting a narrative value equal to or greater than any other curse. Pork for dinner, pork after dinner—pork's everywhere. Eat it.

Topics: Profanity

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Posted Aug. 10, 2007 at 10:14 am by Mike Seely

Granted, I haven't shaved in three days and could stand to drop 15 lbs, but I'm still at a loss for how a panhandler at 1st & Seneca telling me I "look like hell" and "look like Jim Belushi" is going to result in a transfer of change from my pocket to his cardboard box. Dude, if you want my money, at least tell me I look like John Belushi. That's flattery. But Jim? Fuck off.

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Posted July 30, 2007 at 5:18 pm by Mike Seely

People have been using the word "douchebag" for years to describe what can be loosely translated as a male who is a cocky, preppy, faux-tough chump. Mostly, this use of a term which originated in reference to female hygiene can be applied to Jagermeister-swilling gents in their twenties with upturned collars, pooka shell necklaces, goatees, earrings, fake tans, mega hair gel, and/or cologne. Still, douchebag never came close to hopping on a pedestal with "motherfucker," "dickhead," or "asshole" as an anti-male slur.

Until now.

Douchebag usage has reached such a saturation point that we can rightfully consider it to be the new asshole. Douchebag is uttered at parties, printed ad nauseum in more permissive publications, and has garnered a loyal following on the web (here, here, here, and here, to cite just a few examples). With this, we hereby bestow the title of "It" curse word for the year 2007 on douchebag, and wonder what further depths pop culture can mine to roll out '08's cuss-of-the-year (COTY). Now that douchebag has the '07 crown sealed up tight, we're ready to accept nominations for the next big cuss in the comments section below, y'dirty birds.

Topics: Profanity

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Monday, May 12

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Fetherston Gallery, Daily from Mon., April 21 until Sat., May 24, 11:00am

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Agua Verde Cafe and Paddle Club, Every week Monday, 6:30pm, free

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Museum of Flight, Daily from Sat., February 9 until Mon., June 2

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