When I moved to Japan two years ago, I brought two carefully selected items designed to bribe other Westerners into friendship. 1. A bottle of Tapatío, to gift another hot sauce–homesick taco fiend, and 2. R. Kelly's epic hip-hopera, Trapped in the Closet, episodes 1–12, on DVD. Both were roaring successes, but even after the last drop of Tapatío was drained, the residue of Kellz singing about Bridget and her asthmatic midget, the nosy neighbor's spatula, and rhyming "dresser" with "Beretta" will continue to coat my friends' souls for years to come. Now that I'm home and it's been five long years since the 22nd episode was released, IFC has announced that it will debut brand-new installments of Trapped this year! Self-celebrator R. Kelly has penned 32 "not of this Earth" episodes, therefore giving me 32 more ways to make new friends.
Rachel Belle contributes the "Ring My Belle" segment to 97.3 KIRO FM's Ron and Don Show, weekdays at 4:37 and 6:37 p.m., Saturdays at 1 p.m., and Sundays at 11 a.m.