Seahawks vs. Rams

In the Seahawks’ final home game of the regular season, the outcome against the equally pitiful St. Louis Rams is but a quibble before offseason debate begins on the following questions. (1) Is quarterback Matt Hasselbeck, at a battered and weary 35, simply too old for the NFL? Is it not time for him to retire? And (2), if Charlie Whitehurst is to replace him, that dude needs to shave; the chin-scruff makes him look like a hipster who wandered onto the field (“Which way to Linda’s, bro?”). And (3), what’s up with Pete Carroll’s grumpy uncle sideline attire? The man wears a hoodie to work? We’re paying you $7 million—show some professionalism! (4) Can we not just kill the 12th Man, already? Honestly, we’re sick of that sportswriter’s cliché, and everyone already knows that Qwest Field crowd noise is integral to the Hawks’ defense. And related (4-a), why should you, the fan, be paying to provide such valuable services? Shouldn’t the team be paying you?) And lastly (5), should the team miraculously make the playoffs, despite its dismal W-L record, can we really be proud of losing our way into the post-season? BRISTOL BLENHEIM III

Sun., Jan. 2, 5:20 p.m., 2011

 
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